Slippery Orange Ballcock

Who the Fu*k is Reggie?

2006-04-25T17:30:00.000+01:00

Leinster 6 - 30 Munster
Originally uploaded by eoinABhab.

Federico Pucciariello, replacement prop for the injured Marcus Horan in Saturday’s trouncing of Leinster, when interview the week before the game was asked how he thought he would fair in his personal battle with Reggie Corrigan. His response was “who the fu@k is Reggie?”

Born in Rosario, Argentina, Federico played for Jockey Club Rosario before taking off for Europe where he played for Parma.
He moved on to Narbonne and in May 2001 played for them in the Challenge Cup final, a game the French lost to NEC Harlequins 42-33, after extra time, Federico's current clubmate Paul Burke deciding the outcome, kicking six penalties, three conversions and a drop-goal.
There followed a season in England's West Country with Gloucester before the Italian international moved back to France and three seasons with Bourgoin.
He joins Munster at the start of the 2005/2006 season, was named as a replacement for their trip to Welford Road for the pre-season warm-up match but ended up making his debut from the off when Tony Buckley was forced to withdraw on the morning of the game.

The Fields of Athenry

Say Yes!

2006-02-23T12:33:00.000Z

Say Yes!
Originally uploaded by hartpat.

Flickr

2006-02-15T11:56:00.000Z

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

The ROT has moved!

2005-11-28T15:27:00.000Z

Just a quick announcement.

The ROT is in the process of being moved to a temporary home with a view to sorting out a permanent home in the near future.

Check out the temporary home here, complete with the latest updates.

Stay tuned for further developments as I hope to have a new home sorted early in the New Year.

Italy 90 Ball

2005-08-23T11:19:00.000+01:00

This one I came up with when looking at old footage of the 1990 World Cup which was held in Italy.
If anyone remembers Roma Foods ran a promotional giveaway where by if you collected enough tokens from Roma spaghetti wrappers etc you could send away for a free Roma Italy 90 Soccer Ball.

-Italy 90 ball(To: Roma Foods Ireland)

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to you in a final act of desperation. I have finally lost my patience with ‘Roma Foods‘ and have been forced to write this email as a last ditch attempt to resolve the matter.

The matter to which I refer concerns ’Roma Foods’ blatant disregard for their customers, particularly their younger customers.

Ill cut straight to the chase. In the summer of 1990 ‘Roma Foods’ ran a world cup give away where by customers could collect special tokens off Roma Food packets. Once enough tokens were collected customers could then send away to ‘Roma’ and supposedly receive a genuine Roma Italy 90 Soccer Ball in return, within 10 to 15 days! Well its been 15 YEARS now and still no sign of my Italy 90 ball!!

Every year around this time I cant help but be reminded of the summer of 1990. I spent the entire month of May eating nothing but bloody ROMA pasta and Spaghetti in order to collect enough tokens for the Italy 90 ball. Even when my mother and later our GP pleaded with me to stop, I didn’t stop, I didn’t listen to them, all I wanted was that ball.

Maybe it was because I was an innocent, slightly gullible, 10 year old girl at the time but I did believed the offer to be genuine. I even saw others on my street receive their Italy 90 balls even though I knew I sent away for mine before them!! I then started to think, maybe its because I’m a girl, maybe the offer is only for boys!
Look, I know its been a long time but I would really like to get this matter resolved either way. I just want my Italy 90 ball and to know why I didn’t receive it all those years ago.

Yours Faithfully

Martina Mary O’Connor

>Reply (From:M*** S******* / Shamrock Foods )

Dear Ms. O'Connor

I am very sorry to hear about your disappointing experience with regard to the Roma 1990 Soccer Ball competition. I can understand your total frustration at collecting tokens for that amount of time and then not receving your prize. It is indeed no way for a company to act towards it loyal and valued customers.

However I am very sorry to say that I, on behalf of Shamrock Foods, cannot assist you in this matter. The Roma pasta brand was owned by a company called the Dublin Macaroni Company in 1990 and I would assume that it was they that ran the competition. I am also sorry to say that I have never heard of that promotion, nor have any of my colleagues here, as we do not have that length of service with the company.

Since 1990, the Roma brand has been sold on three occassions to three different companies. Since 2001, Roma has been owned by Shamrock Foods.

Sorry we can not be of more help with this matter. Unfortunately you would really need to contact the owners of the Dublin Maccaroni Company, the original promoters of the competition in 1990.

Yours sincerely
M*** S*******
Shamrock Foods

Underpants Continued

2005-08-17T15:55:00.000+01:00

Below is my reply to our friend in Daewoo who suggested i use a Giga-counter to check if my balls were effected by the Microwave Underpants.

>>Re:Reply1 (To: Daewoo Electronics)

Dear Adam,

Thank you very much for your speedy reply.
Its as I suspected really, my brother was only trying to scare me.
Thanks again for putting my mind at ease.

Yours
Martina Mary O'Connor

P.S
You might also thank that Senior Engineer for me. Thank him for his concern and for his theory on how to test if I was in danger. You might inform him that while his theory was sound that it wouldn't really have helped me as I mostly wear my underpants on my head………………mostly!

I also got a reply for the original email from SANYO Ireland Ltd. He was a bit more professional.....at first!

>Reply 2(From:SANYO Ireland Ltd )

Dear Ms O'Connor

Under no circumstances should your microwave oven be used for any purpose other than defrosting/reheating or cooking food. Using your oven to dry clothes is dangerous in so far as it is a fire hazard.

Best regards
David Haskins
SANYO Ireland Ltd.
Telephone 353-1-4568910

>>Re:Reply 2(To:SANYO Ireland Ltd )

David,

Yes I know how dangerous it was to dry my underpants in the Micro but I was in an awful HURRY both times and I didn't want to go commando (or 'free-balling' as you might call it).

All I want to know is should I be worried that by my wearing underpants which I dried in the Micro, might I have damaged my innards in some way?

Thanks for your Reply
Regards
Martina

>>>Re:Re:Reply 2(From:SANYO Ireland Ltd )

Dear Ms O'Connor

Unless your underwear was actually on fire when you removed them from the oven there is no risk to your "innards".

Best regards
David Haskins
SANYO Ireland Ltd.
Telephone 353-1-4568910

Underpants

2005-08-11T16:02:00.000+01:00

Came up with the underpants series after one of my flat mates actually used the Microwave to dry his underpants one evening when he was in a hurry to head out. I emailed a number of large Microwave manufactures as I thought it might be interesting to see what the official line in regards to drying underpants in the micro was. I of course put a bit of a twist on the story……anyway…you’ll see what I mean below……enjoy.

-Underpants (To: Various Electrical companies / Ireland)

Hi,

Just a quick question for you . I'm hoping someone there can sort this out for me once and for all.
Are there any dangers/health risks I should be aware of as a result of wearing underpants which I have dried in one of your Microwaves?
Your ‘*****' model to be more specific.

My brother keeps laughing at me and calling me Chernobyl-Anus! I only did it twice but he said ‘once is all it takes!'.

I really just want to put my mind at ease and have something concrete to defend against my brother and his mocking.

Sincerely Yours
Martina Mary O' Connor

>Reply 1(From:Daewoo Electronics Sales UK Ltd )

Dear Martina,

I have never received such a strange e-mail question concerning our microwave ovens before.

I can confirm that your health is not at risk BUT I would not advise you to dry your "underpants" in the microwave in future, as the microwave oven is not designed for this purpose. Only use the microwave oven for the purpose it has been designed for i.e. cooking and defrosting of food/beverages.

Yours sincerely,

For and on behalf of
Daewoo Electronics Sales UK Ltd

P.S. On a light-hearted note you may be interested to read the reply I received from our Senior Engineer regarding your query: "May I suggest that he obtains a Giga-counter and checks the amount of radiation in his underpants because anything above a reading of 5, could damage his balls!!!"

(This would be quite funny BUT he has not realised that you are a lady!!)

There are more Replies and follows to this one which I will post later in the week…..

…oh and…..ok I admit it…it was me who dried his undies in the micro!!! I was in a Hurry ok!!!

Cheese III (reply)

2005-08-09T14:48:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the delay (bin busy busy like), here is the reply to the last Cheese email. (i'll post a few more emails this week to make up for the delay with this one...k Peeps!...SlipperyOrangeBallcock out ..

>Reply (From: Dairygold Subject: Easy Singles)

Hi Martina,

Would it be possible to get a digital shot of the piece?

I appreciate that it may be too late you use the actual piee but we may be able to use a digital shot of it later down the line.

Kind regards,

Cliodhna B*****

>>Re:Reply (To: Dairygold Subject: Easy Singles)

Hi Cliodhna ,

I am delighted you showed interest in my final year project and maybe had I head from you sooner I might have something to show you.

The thing is...my dog ate the project! Every last bit of it!

Sorry!

Martina Mary O Connor

Cheese III

2005-07-25T19:34:00.000+01:00

Yet another addition to the Cheese series. Didn’t think i actually get a reply for this one but one came eventually. Ill Post the Reply Later...

-Cheese (To: Galtee & Calvita, Subject: Easy Singles)

To whom it may concern,

My name is Martina Mary O'Connor and I'm a final year arts student studying at UCC in Cork. I am a huge fan of Calvita cheese, particularly your easy single range and it is on foot of this great love that I took it upon myself to fashion my greatest masterpiece (to date) using nothing but Calvita easy singles.

Let me explain. As part of my abstract arts module I had to undertake a project for my final year. I decided to combine as part of my project the two passions in my life, cheese and fashion. It took me 5 and a half weeks but I have finally completed my masterpiece, a three piece suit fashioned entirely from easy singles, Calvita easy singles. It Is quite a sight!

Because of the very nature of the project it has been secluded for an early marking date next week. I fear the life-span of the completed project is limited and this is why I was granted an early evaluation from the college.

The reason I'm writing to you is basically to inform the powers that be there at Calvita of my project. I would also like to put my project at the disposal of the company to use maybe as part of an ad campaign or however they see fit.

Again I would like to remind you of the limited lifespan of the project and that any use it might have will be lost as the cheese starts to go off.

Yours Faithfully
Martina Mary O'Connor

Cheese II

2005-07-20T15:24:00.000+01:00

Another addition to the Cheese series.

-Cheese (To: Irish Dairy Board , Subject: Aruba)

Hi,
Just wondering if you can help me with a little question. Is it true that eating copious amounts of cheese can have adverse effects on human health, both mental and physical?

Its just, I've been eating nothing but cheese for the last three weeks now and haven't noticed any side effects.

I would really like to have an answer to this question ASAP as the cat and myself have a three-week holiday to Aruba booked for next week and we really need to know how much cheese we need to pack.

Insanely Yours
Martina M O'Connor

>Reply (From:Liam Hassett, Irish Dairy Board)

Dear Martina,

Thanks for your email. I am glad to see you are a cheese lover. Unfortunately I am not an expert on diet or any medical field.

I would suggest moderation in all things including consumption of cheese. I hope you enjoy Aruba.

Kind Regards
Liam Hassett
Irish Dairy Board

Cheeeese

2005-07-18T19:18:00.000+01:00

One of my favourite series of emails was the ‘Cheese’ related emails. Simply because even though they were blatantly outrageous I still managed to garner replies off people. Targets included The Irish Health Board, The Irish Cheese Board and Cheese companies such as Galtee & Calvita.

-Cheese (To: Health Dept , Subject: Adverse Effects)

Hi,
Just wondering if you can help me with a little question.

Are there are any adverse effects to human body as a result of eating large amounts of cheese?

I haven't noticed any side effects so far and I just can't seem to stop eating the stuff.

P.S
On a totally unrelated matter, my cat hates you.

Insanely Yours
Martina M O'Connor

>Reply (No Reply)

The Thong Thing!!

2005-07-14T14:19:00.000+01:00

The Thong Thing email was another of our earliest emails. IT was sent to various sporting organisations throughout Ireland.

-Thong Thing(To: GAA Headquarters , Subject: Attire)

Hi,
My name is M*** M** O'C***, im 23 years of age and I play camogie with Toomevara club in Tipperary. I am writing to you in the hope that someone there can clarify exactly where the GAA stand on certain rules regarding playing attire.

Ill cut straight to the chase. The issue of weather or not we as camogie players are allowed to wear a thong during play has become a major point of contention within the club of late, with opinions generally split down the middle.

I would be hugely grateful if you could clarify exactly the GAAs stance on this issue as it really has both sides divided here. The sooner we have clarification, either way, the sooner the team can put the issue behind them and concentrate on the upcoming championship.

Regards
M**** M O'****

>Reply 1 (From: Maire Ui Scolai, RTÉ National Camogie PRO)

Hi,
You recently sent an e-mail to Siobh n Brady in the GAA Office in Croke Park and which was sent on to me.

Rule 20.8 states that Teams are required to wear distinctive colours. In all instances all members of the team must be unifirmly dressed.
Uniforms, which shall be of Irish manufacture if possible, shall consist of: gym tunic/skirt/divided skirt with matching sports underwear,blouse/sports shirt with long or short sleeves, knee socks and boots.
Goalkeepers may wear full uniform, full club/college/ county/provincial track suit or the tracksuit bottoms with uniform jersey. The crest of Cumann Cam gaiochta na nGael shall be displayed on the uniform jerseys.

Maire

Maire Ui Scolai
National Camogie PRO
Ph/Fax: 01 2849***
Mobile: 087 2797***
Web Site: www.camogie.ie

We also got a Reply from Tennis Ireland. Obviously substitute the GAA club for a Tennis club for the sent email. But I somehow get the feeling that Tennis Irelands chief executive is on to us !!!!

>Reply 2 (From: Aileen Rogan, Tennis Ireland)

Hi Martina,
Thanks for your email. There is nothing at all in the Rules of Tennis regarding the wearing of a thong.
I hope that this clarifies the matter for you.

Kind regards
Aileen Rogan

>Reply 3 (Des Allen, Chief Executive Officer Tennis Ireland)

Hi Martina,
This whole question of appropriate underwear for young ladies while playing Tennis does concern us.

Some of the older members of your club probably feel you have quite a cheek for exposing your issues to Tennis Ireland....however we hope to strip away some of the more flimsy arguments and get right to the bottom of this matter.

Before taking up a position on your thong I would ask you to send on some photos/ samples. We are not about to go into this investigation in a half-assed way.

Des Allen
Chief Executive Officer
Tennis Ireland

rot: The Zetor Tractor

2005-07-13T16:26:00.000+01:00

Sent this one out a good while ago to the Tipp IFA but got no response. So i decided to cut out the middle man and go direct to Zetor Tractors. I emailed several different offices worldwide and the results can be seen below.

Not one of my best or one im overly proud of, as the hints are not really obvious enough that it’s only a hoax.

-Tractor

(To: Tipperary IFA & Zetor worldwide, Subject: Zetor Tractor)

Hi,
My name is Martina Mary O'Connor and myself and my husband own a small farm just outside Fethard, County Tipp in Ireland.
I found your email address from the Internet. I am writing to you on the Internet because it is the only way I am sure my husband wont find out im talking to you. You see he doesn't know how to use the computer.

The reason I am writing to you is because I have a very big problem. My husband has gone to Tralee for a few days visiting his brother and he does not allow me to drive the Tractor when he is not around. Michael our eldest son usually drives it when my Husband is away. Yesterday when Michael was at Hurling training my sister rang, she had had a fight with her husband and was hysterical on the phone. I had to go into town to calm her down, but I had no car. I know I shouldn't have but I had to use the tractor to go and see her. I made sure I was at home before Michael came from training. I thought everything was ok and that I had got away with it, until this morning when Michael tried to start the tractor. He didn't go into detail but it failed him to start the tractor. I tried to start it later on myself but I couldn't. It's a Zetor tractor and normally when I insert the key the gages show that I have power. My battery shows a full charge yet when I insert the key it does nothing. I checked the fuses according to the manual. I do not have the battery relay switch which the manual suggests. The battery is mfg Oct. of 2002 so I wouldn't think it would be bad.

My husband is a good man but he gets very angry when he is disobeyed. I am frightened he will find out I took the tractor in to town and that he will kick me out of the house. I really don't know where to turn from here. Any suggestions would be appreciated, either on how to fix the tractor or how to deal with my husband.

Thank you.
Martina Mary O'Connor

>Reply 1 (No Reply From Tipperary IFA)

>Reply 2 (From: Zetor Europe)

Hi,
To me it looks like bad key switch. On the key switch, there is red wire. It should have power all the time. If the red wire is not powered: Check this red wire - It comes from the upper terminal on the starter. If the red on key switch is powered:
When you push the key, power should also occur on wire conected to terminals 15 and 54 on the key switch (numbers are stamped on the switch).
If there is no power there, key switch is bad.

Peter

>Reply 3 (From: Zetor UK)

Good evening Martina.
Before I can help you with your problem on your Zetor tractor on starting. I need to know which model type it is you have got. I.E. super 6341 or major 5340.I am the service man for all the UK dealers and assist dealers in Ireland.I have 40yrs experience on Zetor Tractors so i should be able to sort out your problem.

As to your other matter with your husband I do not get into domestics.

Best Regards.
John.

>Reply 4 (From: Zetor Ireland)

Dear Martina,
We are sure things are not as bad as you make out, but we are afraid that your tractor will have to be examined to determine the cause for not starting.

There could be a number of reasons for example is the engine turning over. If so then it is not the Battery. We suggest that you contact your local Zetor Dealer to come and look at the tractor. He is Pat Lawrence, K & L Motors, Cahir 4 X 4 Centre, Clonmel Road , Cahir. Telephone:- 052 41883

Pat should be able to look after you.
Next time maybe it might be wise to take a Taxi.

Yours truly,
Zetor Tractors Ireland Limited.

rot: IFA (Scarecrow)

2005-07-07T16:01:00.000+01:00

-IFA (To: Roscommon IFA , Subject: Scarecrow)

Hello,
I got your email from the internet. I would like to make an enquiry on behalf of my husband. We have a small farm near Boyle. We have just planted our Wheat crop for the year but were were having terrible trouble with crows eating the seeds, we have a scarecrow but unfortunately hes not doing his job (maybe hes not scary enough) would you have any information on the most affective type of Scarecrow to use.
Any information at all would be of help.

Thanking You
G***** P. C****

>Reply (No Reply)

rot: IFA (Milk Quota)

2005-07-07T15:54:00.000+01:00

-IFA (To: Kerry IFA, Subject: Milk Quota)

Hi,
I would like to enquire about the milk quota for the forthcoming year. We have a small Dairy Farm in Kerry with about 90 Cows.
I believe that the quota for last year was 110 litres per cow per week. Any chance you could raise this quota to 130 litres as the young
fella is about to start school and he needs new shoes.

Thanking You
G***** P. C****

>Reply (No Reply)

rot: RTE (George Hamilton)

2005-07-07T15:34:00.000+01:00

-RTE (To: George Hamilton, Subject: Toast)

Dear George,
I have a question that I thought you might be able to help me with.
Why is it that when I set my toaster for 5 toast I get 6 and then when I try and set at 4 to get 5 I just get 4 toast?
I just don't get it!!

Insanely yours
Martina Mary O'Connor

>Reply (No Reply)

rot: RTE (Kevin Hough)

2005-07-07T15:16:00.000+01:00

Not Too Proud of this one!!

-RTE (To: Kevin Hough, Subject: Lyrics Board)

Dear Kevin,
Any truth to the rumour that you are set to make a return to next seasons Lyrics board?
In my honest opinion the show hasn't been the same since you left. It has become a over rehearsed farce as far as I can see. Why cant RTE see that what they are lacking is raw tallent which the likes of yourself and Arthur Murphy had in abundance.

Yours
Martina Mary O'Connor

>Reply (From: Kevin Hough)

Dear Martina,
Did not hear anything yet so I am not sure if it is coming back. Am really busy now with Active Age in Radio plus a lot of other activities. Thank you so much for your kind words about me I really appreciate them.

I will forward your message to the producer Andy Ruane in Like it Love it Productions.

All the Best
Kevin

rot: RTE3!!

2005-07-04T17:17:00.000+01:00

-RTE (To: RTE Complaints , Subject: RTE 3)

Hello,
I'm sorry it has come to having to write this email but I am in a bad way because I cannot get RTE 3 on my television. As a T.V Licence payer I am deepy upset by this.

I can get all the other channels RTE1 RTE2 TV3 & TG4 but still cannot get RTE3, this is an outrage. If I do not get this channel I will be forced to cancel my TV Licence or worse take legal action - (my husband is a solicitor he works for Black &Decker)

Yours in Horror
Geraldine P Cunningham

P.S The Cat says Meeow

>Reply (No Reply!)

rot: RTE (IDTwo, Kids Show)

2005-07-04T16:48:00.000+01:00

-RTE (To: ID-Two, Subject: Renamed)

Dear IDtwo,
Any truth to the rumour that your fantastic show “ID2” is going to be renamed “D4”? I think this would be a much more appropriate name not only because the grabasstic presenter comes across as your typical D4 trust fund baby but also because of the string of “Yáw Yáw Yáw” guest you insist on parading in front of us.

Yours
Martina Mary O'Connor
Age 11

>Reply (From: IDTwo Team)

Dear Martina,
Thank you for your mail - no there is no truth in the rumour that IDTwo will be named D4...
Perhaps when you are older you might look at becoming a TV producer and then you can call your programme anything you want!

Kind regards
The IDTwo Team

>>RE: Reply (To: IDTwo Team)

Dear IDTwo Team,
Thank you for your speedy reply.
It seems that i got the wrong end of the stick as far as 'ID Two' making a name change is concerned.

As for your advice on my future career, funnily enough I already have my heart set on becoming a TV producer when I grow up! Perhaps some day when I make it as a TV producer I might get to produce ‘ID Two'. However, I fear that this is highly unlikely as the average lifespan for kids shows on RTE isn't great (especially mediocre ones).

Regards
Martina M O'Connor

rot: Derek Mooney

2005-07-03T18:09:00.000+01:00

Toby The CAT!

-RTE (To: Derek Mooney, Subject: One Eyed Animal)

Dear Derek,
I was just wondering if you could settle a bet for me. Is it true that the only naturally occurring one eyed animal is the one eyed trouser snake? My friend Geraldine says this is true but my neighbours cat only had one eye when she was born so does this make it not true.

Below is a picture of my neighbours cat Toby.

Yours
Martina Mary O'Connor

>Reply (No Reply!!)

rot: Aonghus McAnally

2005-07-03T17:56:00.000+01:00

To Aonghus McAnally Of Anything Goes Fame!

-RTE (To: Aonghus McAnally, Subject: Anything Goes)

Dear Aonghus,
Any truth to the rumour that 'Anything Goes' is set to make a return to our screens in RTEs summer schedule.

I know it would be a big ask for yourself to come out of retirement but do you really want to deprive another generation of such a top class show.

Yours
Martina Mary O'Connor

>Reply (From: Aonghus McAnally)

Dear Martina,

I am not aware of any such plans.
Thanks for the email,

Aonghus McAnally

>> Re:Reply (To: Aonghus McAnally)

Dear Aonghus,
Thank you for your speedy reply.

It seems that I got the wrong end of the stick as far as 'Anything Goes' making a come back to our screens is concerned. Its a shame really as I think the standard of Saturday morning kids shows on RTE has taken a real down turn of late.
Thanks again for your reply.

Yours
Martina Mary O'Connor

P.S
I think my husband is having an affair!

rot: Gerry Daly (Gardners World)

2005-07-03T17:31:00.000+01:00

To Gerry Daly Of Gardners World Fame!

-RTE (To: Gerry Daly, Subject: Garden Help)

Hi Gerry,
I was told i could contact your good self here. I have two questions and i would be hugely grateful if you could answer them as best you could.
My first question might be a dumb question. I have a beautiful large bush but it has no berries. How do I get it to have berries? I was told I need another bush of the opposite sex for it to pollinate. How can I tell what sex bush I have already?

My second question regards Gardner's World. Are there any plans in the pipeline to bring this show back to our screens? I found it a great source of education on all things garden related and it was entertaining to boot.

Yours faithfully
M*** M O'C**

>Reply (No Reply!!)

rot: RTE (Mailbag)

2005-07-03T17:20:00.000+01:00

RTE but i Think Nina got sick of us !

-RTE (To: Complaints Dept, Subject: Mailbag)

Hi,
Just wondering if RTE have any plans to bring this great show (Mailbag) back to our screens. I was thrilled to see a fresh faced Arthur Murphy on a recent broadcast of that show "Blizzard of Odd". While I was delighted to see Arthur, I felt saddened by the fact he was reduced to a measly 'cameo' appearance on such a terrible show.

Arthur in his heyday could have bought and sold Colin Murphy, yet here he was reduced to mere sidekick.

I think the return of mailbag to our screens would give RTE a much needed boost, by giving their viewers a forum to voice concerns and complaints and maybe even compliments concerning our national broadcasters schedule.

Yours faithfully
M*** M O'C**

-*- Follow Up

I am disgusted by your lack of response to my last e-mail. The fact that i am Arthur Murphy's love child should have no bearing on the matter. My point still stands.

Thank You
M*** M O'C**

>Reply (From: RTÉ Information Office)

Dear M***,

Your e-mail, requesting the return of Mailbag has been forwarded to the office of the Managing Director of Television, for information and interest.

Best regards
RTÉ Information Office

rot: RTE (Reality TV)

2005-07-03T17:12:00.000+01:00

RTE Again !

-RTE (To: Complaints Dept, Subject: Reality TV)

Dear RTE,
Any truth to the rumour that RTE's next big celebrity reality TV show involves the of putting of Pat Kenny, Twink, Brendan o Carroll and that boob-job trollop off you're a star into a burlap sack with 12 cats?

This is a show that I know id watch plus it would see my TV licence fee put to good use.

Yours truly,
*****

>Reply (From: Nina Ward, RTÉ Information Officer)

Hi *****,

Got to say that you're first on board with that particular rumour, but I'll run it past the relevant commissioning editor in case it has merit. I'm inclined to think however, that the DSPCA might veto cats being put in bags - burlap or otherwise.

Best regards
Nina Ward
RTÉ Information Officer

rot: RTE (Fair City)

2005-07-03T16:33:00.000+01:00

Yet Another One to RTE !

-RTE (To: Complaints Dept, Subject: Fair City)

Dear RTE,
Any Chance youd cancel it ...................
I'll pay (name your price)

Much obliged
*****

>Reply (From: Nina Ward, RTÉ Information Officer)

Dear Ms. O'Connor,

No amount of money would induce us to spoil the enjoyment of over 600,000 viewers, for financial gain.

Is your remote control missing?

Nina Ward
RTÉ Information Officer

rot: RTE (Gardners World)

2005-06-29T11:58:00.000+01:00

Another One to RTE !

-RTE (To: Complaints Dept, Subject: Gardners World)

Hi,
Any chance youd have an email address for the gardener Gerry Daly (yes him with the beard). Remember he used to have a program called Gardners World (oh how I miss it ).
If not would you have a contact number for that gardener that used to be on Live at 3 (yes him with the lisp)......actually make that an email address.

Failing this would you know what I should do with my Tulips as I feel their colours are clashing with my slippers which is in turn upsetting the Cat.

Insanely Yours
G*** P. C****

>Reply (From: Nina Ward, RTÉ Information Officer)

Hi,

As a keen gardener myself G****, my advice would be to GET RID OF THE CAT, and stay out of the garden in your slippers - the ground is far too wet. If you really want to contact Gerry Daly, and he'll say the same as I have, he can be contacted at the Irish Garden Magazine, 01 2862*** or garden.ie

The gardener with the lisp is Dermot O'Neill and his website is: dermotoneill.com

Best of luck with the tulips,
Nina Ward
RTÉ Information Officer

rot: RTE (Six One News)

2005-06-29T11:10:00.000+01:00

One of our earliest targets was RTE (Irelands national broadcaster), more specifically their complaints department!!

-RTE (To: Complaints Dept, Subject: Six-One News)

Dear RTE,
Would it be possible to move the ‘Six One' news to a later slot, ‘Six Forty Three' perhaps, as I rarely make it home from work before half six.

Yours in anticipation
***

>Reply (From: Nina Ward, RTÉ Information Officer)

Dear M***. O'C****
Thank you for your e-mail. I regret to inform you that
RTÉ has no plans to change the timing of either the Six
One or the Nine O'Clock news bulletins.

Best regards
Nina Ward
RTÉ Information Officer

Reign of Terror

2005-06-09T15:13:00.000+01:00

What is the 'Reign of Terror' ?

Well the 'Reign of Terror' is the product of fierce bordom, an over active imagination and too much and spare time.

The reign of terror is basically a campaign of mostly bogus emails sent to various targets in the hope they either

A. take the bait and reply
B. pick up on the prank and send an equally ridiculous reply
C. who knows

One of the first ‘targets’ was RTE and the RTE complaints department. I have to say that the correspondence got of them initially was ‘gold’ but tapered off eventually as they copped on to the hoax.
Other targets range from the GAA to the IFA to Dairygold to Health Board, to name but a few.

So keep an eye out i will be posting the emails/letters over time and watch out ...you could be next!!

This site will be updated at the very least, every Sunday Night/Monday morning….so check in regularly to keep up to date with The Reign Of Terror!